It is and isn't hard to believe the first episode of The Simpsons aired on December 17, 1989. While it's flabbergasting to think the show has been on the air for more than a quarter of a century, The Simpsons is such an American institution it feels timeless. In returning to old episodes, you might find some jokes that make you grimace - there are plenty of offensive jokes on the Simpsons the show couldn't get away with in 2016.
So what's this all about? Are there racist jokes on The Simpsons? That's probably in the eye of the beholder - where do you draw the line between racist jokes and jokes about race? There are certainly jokes you couldn't get away with today, and what many would consider outdated Simpsons jokes. There are also blatant sexual references, political jabs, and a blurring of the lines between adult and children's content that wouldn't fly in an increasingly divided programming system. Read on to see the Simpsons jokes that wouldn't work today.
18 Simpsons Jokes That Wouldn't Fly Today,
Smithers Wants the Seamen to Himself
Episode: "Treehouse of Horror III: (Season 4, Episode 5. October 29, 1992)
The Joke: Mr. Burns asks Smithers his opinion is on hiring Marge, to which Smithers responds, “I think women and seamen don’t mix.”
Why It Wouldn't Fly: The episode aired in 1992, well before children could turn to social media to figure out inappropriate double entendres in a few minutes. You could get away with stuff like this in the early '90s; now, it's maybe too risqué.
Hoover Has Serious Suction Power
Episode: "Days of Future Future" (Season 25, Episode 18. April 13, 2014)
The Joke: An adult Bart nails one of Lisa's former teachers, Ms. Hoover. As they're lying in bed after, he says "Now I see why they call you Ms Hoover." She's got maximum suck action.
Why It Wouldn't Fly: Actually, it probably would, since this episode aired in 2014, so file this under "can't believe they got away with it."
Trashing New Orleans
Episode: "A Streetcar Named Marge" (Season 4, Episode 2. October 1, 1992)
The Joke: In “A Streetcar Named Marge,” there’s a musical number with some brutal lyrics about New Orleans. Here they are, in all their savageness -
Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans!
Why It Wouldn't Fly: Because Katrina.
Homer Asks Marge How He Should Whack It
Episode: "Whacking It" (Season 4, Episode 20. April 29, 1993)
The Joke: Homer, stroking a baseball bat, asks Marge, “Should I whack it slow or fast?” Marge replies, “Slow, then fast!”
Why It Wouldn't Fly: For one, it's too obvious in a time of such hyper-sexualization, and yet, weirdly, also too adult for overly sanitized children's programming in the 2010s.
Springfield Heights Institute Of Technology
Episode: "Much Apu About Nothing" (Season 7, Episode 23. May 5, 1996)
The Joke: A classic, simple sight gag - the sign for Springfield Heights Institute Of Technology, or SHIT.
Why It Wouldn't Fly Today: Among other reasons, because cartoons in the 90s all had something warped, dark, or profane about them, while children's programming in the 2010s is driven by the overly-sanitized dictates of the Pixarification of culture.
Homer Gets Raped By a Panda
Episode:"Homer vs Dignity" (Season 12, Episode 5. November 26, 2000)
The Joke: Homer dresses up as a panda at the Springfield Zoo and a real panda rapes him.
Why It Wouldn't Fly: Um...rape. And bestiality.
Rabbits Fake Orgasms Too, Kids
Episode: "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" (Season 3, Episode 23. May 7, 1992)
The Joke: Ms. Krabappel shows Bart's class a sex education video entitled Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You Know What, which tells the story of a pair of rabbits who comes of age, fall in love, get married, have sex, and pump out of ton of kids. During the video's sex scene, Ms. Krabappel, completely blasé and smoking a cigarette, intones, "She's faking it."
Why It Wouldn't Fly: Because children on TV are either overly sexualized or totally sanitized, and there definitely isn't any crossover between adult and adolescent sexuality.
Ned Begs to Be Fisted
Episode: "Black-Eyed, Please" (Season 24, Episode 15. March 10, 2013)
The Joke: Ned punches Homer in the hopes Homer will return the favor. Ned says, “I’m insisting on a fisting.” Smithers appears from nowhere and asks, “What’s this about a fisting?”
Why It Wouldn't Fly: In all likelihood, it probably would, since the episode aired in 2013. Another one to file under "can't believe they got away with it."
Bart Wants to Eat Out
Episode: "Love Is a Many Splintered Thing" (Season 24, Episode 12. February 10, 2013)
The Joke: Bart pleads his romantic interest Mary Spuckler (voiced by Zooey Deschanel) to be with him, saying “I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.”
Why It Wouldn't Fly: Because 10 year olds going down on one another.
The Show Takes a Dump on Brazil
Episode: "Blame It on Lisa" (Season 13, Episode 5. March 31, 2002)
The Joke: The Simpson family goes to Brazil to search for soccer legend Ronaldo. The show portrays Brazil as a crime-ridden hell hole, rife with kidnappings, mugging, fiendish bisexual predators, rampaging monkeys, rat infestations, and grotesque slums.
In response the the episode, the Rio de Janeiro tourism board nearly sued Fox for damaging the city's image.
Why It Wouldn't Fly: First off, the bisexual stuff is kinda...not PC. It's also hard to get away with taking a giant dump on another country in 2016. Yet, at the same time, thanks to the Olympics, we know that a lot of what goes on the episode isn't far from the truth.