These classic, lovable characters from TV, movies and our childhoods are all known for one thing: their unwanted sexual advances. And although we love them and there's nothing actually wrong with their existence, here's a list of the most lascivious cartoon characters of all time and why, in the real world, all of them would be in jail.
Everyone on this list from Pepe Le Pew, to Herbert from Family Guy to Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, doesn't really get the whole meaning of "no means no" and kind of just assumes that they're a sexy cartoon when, most of the time, they're really, really REALLY not.
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Big Bad Wolf
The Big Bad Wolf from these cartoons where he's whistling at an over-sexed "Take THIS, I did it first, Jessica Rabbit" Red Hot Riding Hood cartoon in shorts that Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies used to do, is probably one of the most over sexually aggressive cartoons on the planet.
He basically represents a visceral part of every man (or hey, even woman) that acts purely on sexual impulse. He does the Le Pew-esque corn-on-the-cob kiss on the arm, and when she dances he does something that has even coined an entire term in American society... The Wolf Whistle.
Applied to many-a-woman passing a construction site, walking down the street while you're in a car during traffic or at any local strip joint (check your local Yelp listings), The Wolf Whistle is basically an eyes-bulging, loud and insanely inappropriate (unless you're in a strip club, check your local CitySearch listings) display of your sexual desire for a woman via yells that would be loud enough to wake an entire city block, or that sound much like... a wolf.
Check out the video for the first and most glaring example of this character being one of the most sexually aggressive (in that all he wants to do is bang some girl whose grandma he ate) cartoon characters of all time.
Bluto
Bluto is Popeye's arch nemesis for a reason (other than the fact that he grows facial hair, but Popeye can't seem to): Bluto is in love with Olive Oyl, a woman that they're both in love with, but has the body of a Gumby character and has little to no redeeming intellectual qualities.
Bluto (as seen in this video where he -- as "Sinbad" -- kidnaps Olive Oyl for his own nefarious needs) is not only pining after Olive Oyl in a completely unrequited manner, but he's doing so while trying to kill the man (Popeye) that she's truly in love with.
Bluto asserts himself as a predator by constantly foiling the object of the woman he loves's affection and forcing himself on her with the hopes that, as a lot of the characters on this list do, "she'll come around".
In this full episode of Popeye on YouTube (in multiple parts), Bluto takes Olive Oyl away unwillingly so that she can be his bride.
Any plot where the bad guy's goal is to get a freakin bride is a plot where the main villain is more than just a jerk who wants to kill everyone you know and love including you, it's a plot where there's a dude who will bang the crap out of any girl/person you hold dear.
Bluto is the worst kind of villain for these reasons, and because he has a lot of facial hair (which adds to how uncomfortable it would be to get "intimate" with him.
Edna Krabappel
Edna Krabappel is a tragic sexual figure in The Simpsons' lore. That's right, "lore".
So, here's a video of her exerting her sexual prowess on a crowd of unsuspecting families. Enjoy.
She is basically the sex-hungry middle-aged woman who has nothing but heart-breaks and unrequited love to go home to (that and maybe the whiskey that she keeps in her desk at Springfield Elementary).
When she's not being a living tragedy, though, she's coming onto men much younger than her and way out of her league as they give her looks that imply that not only are they (hesitantly) willing, but that they are going to be almost forced into it.
The allure of Edna Krabbapel lies in that she's an older woman who's not TERRIBLE looking, but has a lot of experience. This basically means that any guy will do whatever she wants, but will not tell anyone they know about it... which is DIRECTLY influenced by how strongly she comes onto anyone attractive who happens to be in the room, making her an incredibly sexually aggressive character that really almost always gets what she wants... except when it comes to the whole "committed relationship" thing.
Gaston
If there's anyone on this list who doesn't have a clue, it's Gaston. Gaston is the Zapp Brannigan of Disney cartoons (read: biggest douche) and is so aggressive in his need to court/bed Belle (who could blame him, actually), that he even becomes the primary antagonist in this otherwise complex and sobering love story about a woman overcoming what she sees as attractive and right and falling for a man she thinks she can change. Why is it a fairy tale? Because she actually changes him.
Gaston's oblivious nature causes him to do things like stalk Belle (as seen in this video) in a way that would get him a restraining order in this day and age and then sing songs about her, followed by, of course, a proposal for marriage (even though she is CLEARLY not interested).
Gaston not only hits on other women all the time, but is used to uninhibited attention from women... why? Because he's actually a pretty good-looking guy, so after she denies him, he keeps going after the one thing he knows he can't have. After pulling the total Hail Mary he did by asking her to marry him, he finds her, finds the dude she ACTUALLY falls in love with and, as we learned from Bluto, does one of the creepiest, most forward things that a guy can do: tries to kill the guy who his love interest is in love with (which is pretty Lex Luthor of him).
Gaston is kind of a funny character in the movie, but how strongly he pushes himself on our main character (who mostly wants to be left alone) is appalling enough to make the list.
If you're a guy, though, raise your hand if you WOULDN'T want to be him. Triplets? Yes, please.
Glenn Quagmire
Of course Quagmire is on this freaking list.
Glenn Quagmire is the resident sexual pervert of Quahog, the fictional Rhode Island town where the fictional cast of Family Guy lives. He basically takes the role of that guy in college who always used to get laid even though his hair was weird, and brings it to a whole new level.
Quagmire will do just about anything to get laid, as you'll see in the embedded video compilation, and has absolutely no shame about anything he does -- which is why he's awesome.
But from a sexual aggression standpoint, Quagmire can't wait til every 16-year-old is 18 and comes on to just about every single imaginable person on the show who happens to look normal enough and have a vagina. Even Meg, the "grossest" character on the show who is always, distractingly, voiced by Mila Kunis (of That 70s Show and your fantasies.)
Embedded here is a great video compilation of why he belongs on this list and why he's one of the funniest cartoon characters of all time as well.
Jafar
The villain in the movie Aladdin, Jafar spends the entire movie trying to marry Princess Jasmine (who, after watching this video, actually kind of looks like a Kardashian) against her will. As one of the most iconic villains of animated film, Jafar commands a presence of high sorcery and extreme power... until he's foiled by our heroes. But before then, he dresses Jasmine up in an almost Slave-Leia-esque outfit that showcases her body and makes her take up a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome to trick him into letting Aladdin take back the power (the lamp) and save the day.
Jafar's entire goal is to marry Jasmine in order to become the Prince and later, of course, the Sultan (although few people could imagine the jolly fat guy in this classic Disney cartoon pillaging villages and countrysides to gain political/financial/military control of them). So, as a sexual cartoon character, he doesn't care about consent as much as he does social obligation and stature. But he will more than gladly take that whole physical part from Jasmine, so by using other worldly powers and horrible schemes to get his way in marriage, Jafar becomes one of the most horribly aggressive (with the use of evil sorcery and a Gilbert Godfriend parrot) cartoon characters in recent history.
Who wants to get with a guy that wears that kind of hat anyway? I mean, there's a reason The Pope is single, right (other than the fact that he has to be)?... No?... Anybody?....
Pepé Le Pew
Pepe Le Pew is basically that guy who has high self esteem BEFORE he starts drinking and then gets really handsy when he's drunk. I mean, c'mon, look at this.
Chuck Jones, creator of Pepe Le Pew, modeled the character after his friend Tedd Pierce who considered himself a ladies man and, for some reason, always assumed that his sexual exploits were requited.
The premise of each and every one of Pepe Le Pew's cartoons (although hilarious) is that the poor guy has perpetual emotional blue balls throughout his entire Skunk life. There are no other skunks around (which brings me to the conclusion that he's probably just not going to the right places), so whenever he sees someone that he thinks is a skunk (most often a black cat who accidentally gets white paint on them via walking under a fence or car that has just been painted white), he just up and goes for it.
Now, not being a "person", Pepe Le Pew gets the leeway of "alright, he's an animal and a male animal that sees a female animal assumes that they want to procreate". But as one of the most popular members of the Looney Tunes crew, he teaches children that no doesn't mean no, but that no means "you should just try harder."
Check out this clip (embedded) that shows Mr. Le Pew forcing himself on a poor, unsuspecting cat. Imagine if you were him, and instead of a weird, painted cat that can't talk (but for some reason you can), it was a girl at a bar.
If you started kissing someone's arm, holding them against their will while they try and get away and professed your delusional, undying love for them, you would most likely get arrested.
This is the point I'm trying to make. These women (cats) don't want to procreate, they just want to walk around and say "Le" all the time.
What's the worst part? The fact THIS IS HIS M.O. He will never change. This is what he's KNOWN for: taking unwilling women and harassing them to the point of either violence, moving away or misery and then happily, passively moving onto the next when the current one is "used up".
A full-length Pepe Le Pew cartoon where he makes unwated sexual advances towards an accidentally-painted cat... again.
Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan is a quintessential douchebag. He's the type of guy that plays the "numbers" game, gets women left and right, has about 12 different STDs (that in cartoon-land cancel each other out, Mr. Burns style), and never stops trying for that one girl that said no that becomes his "true love" (who he'll forget about the moment she says yes... easily.)
Throughout the entire series of F*turama (to this day, even), Zapp Brannigan makes sexual advances towards the gorgeous, yet tough and opinionated Leela (who happens to have one eye and is also voiced by Peggy of Married with Children fame's Katy Seagal). He never stops and he always assumes that the love is requited because he's just that delusional of a douchebag.
He makes so many sexual advances that ALMOST work (and one or two that do) that he's really one of the greatest sexual predators in mainstream cartoon history. Not only does he do what he does, but he makes it work in the process... this is kind of a terrible thing ideologically, but as far as the progression of the character goes, he needs it to love.
Here's an example (embedded) of Zapp Brannigan coming onto Leela using "facts".
Herbert
Herbert from Family Guy is a pedophile. A homosexual one. One that takes advantage of young boys, likes to smell their underwear, write songs about young boys and basically lives for the next sexual thrill. Every single scene he's ever been in on Family Guy has a common punchline theme: Herbert wants to bang little boys.
And this is absolutely hilarious in that it makes light of one of the most reprehensible things that people (Christian Priests) do on a regular basis, as well as lampoons some of the most uncomfortable moments that a person can have, as well as some of the worst thoughts that the worst people on Earth can think.
Herbert is a staple of cartoon comedy and one of the greatest characters cartoons have ever invented... but the implication that he, at SOME point, has gotten away with what he does (why else would he so persistently keep trying), is absolutely disgusting and puts him in at #2 in the most sexually aggressive (and not to mention reprehensible) cartoon characters of all time.
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of his funniest, most uncomfortable and "that's funny cause it's wrong" moments.
Every Betty Boop Villain Ever
Betty Boop, a character who most people can find at products at stores like Claire's and Hot Topic, yet most people have never seen an episode of her show, was the first animated sex symbol of all time. Needless to say (as this should probably be, unfortunately, implied), almost every single episode of her show involved some powerful man trapping her, tying her up, then trying to bang her.
Random dudes from whatever institution the episode was about (in this case, The Circus!) would come and save her in the end, otherwise she'd be an emotional wreck and the cartoon would've taken a crazier, MUCH darker path.
Here's a synopsis of the infamous episode where someone tries to take away her virginity called "Boop-Boop-A-Doop", which kind of sums up why every one of her villains was basically a potential rapist. That's right. The "R" word again:
"In Boop-Oop-A-Doop , Betty is a highwire performer in a circus. The villainous Ringmaster lusts for Betty as he watches her from below, singing "Do Something," a song previously performed by Helen Kane. As Betty returns to her tent, the Ringmaster follows her inside and sensually massages her legs, surrounds her and threatens her job if she doesn't submit.
This is perhaps one of the earliest portrayals of sexual harassment on the screen, and was very daring at a time when such subject matter was considered taboo.
Betty begs the Ringmaster to cease his advances, as she sings "Don't Take My Boop-Oop-A-Doop Away." Koko the Clown is outside of the tent, practicing his juggling and hears the struggle from inside the tent. He leaps in to save Betty's virtue, struggling with the Ringmaster who loads him into a cannon, firing it, thinking that he has sent the hero away, laughing with self-satisfaction. But Koko is hiding inside the cannon, and strikes the Ringmaster out cold with a mallet, returning with "the last laugh." When Koko expresses concern about Betty's welfare, she answers in song, "No, he couldn't take my boop-oop-a-doop away!"